And her frustration is what spurred me to write today’s post. You imply that you should get rid of the guys that don’t call regularly and make it obvious that they want to date and pursue a relationship and yet in the book you mention that you didn’t take your wife on a proper date for the first 4 weeks and how great she was that when you did call she was nice and said yes to whatever you proposed doing…and you ended up married….which is why women put up with flaky guys and “bad behavior”, holding out hope that it will change and turn into something serious. Or do you move on to the next guy because this one isn’t making much of an effort? But if Tanya is finding this grey area to be a bit too grey, then I have to acknowledge that perhaps I can do a better job of explaining it. So why does a man only call or text you once a week to make plans? If he expresses no interest in escalating the intensity of the relationship… So don’t worry about how much you like him, how strong your feelings are, or anything like that. Did they “see you” once a week for six months and suddenly declare their love? Potential boyfriends act like potential boyfriends. So give a guy 6-8 weeks to figure out his feelings, if necessary.
Online dating, and our ability to be in constant contact with everyone we know via text, email or social media make us unwilling to commit to one person, and more likely to want to hedge our bets. In an article I wrote earlier this year about modern dating, I used the example of a man I’d been sleeping with for over a year, who got cross when I referred to him as my boyfriend.For those of you out-of-the-know, the 2-day rule is the assumption that a person must wait at least two days after initial contact with someone they’re interested in before getting in touch with them.This unwritten rule tries to mitigate a slippery slope – contacting someone you’re interested in too soon can come across as desperate, but taking too much time to contact them may seem like you’re not interested at all. I found it frustrating – but really, I was feeling frustration on HER behalf. She’s the type of client I’d be friends with in real life. Like Tanya – and my wife – she was trying to be the cool girl, but she took it too far. this probably means that he’s a) dating other people and isn’t sure whether I’m “the one” OR b) he’s just not that into me and using me for now.” This doesn’t mean he’s a bad guy. I was the one who was making the effort to see her more. He’ll know that his string of good luck has come to an end. When the relationship is growing – like it was for me in 2007 – you may just have a moment like this: One night, when we were eating Chinese food and watching TV, I turned to my future-bride-to-be and said, “I think you’re my girlfriend.” She said, with a coy smile, “I think I am.” It was that simple. This woman is tearing her hair out because she doesn’t know how to apply my advice. Are you always nice when they call and say “yes” to the date? She needed me to set her straight and show her what her guy was actually thinking. She didn’t have to do anything except say yes and not judge me while I worked it all out in my head. Why is a man not clamoring to reserve his weekends for you, or take you on a short vacation, or meet your friends and family? I need a man who is looking for a relationship and you don’t seem to be that guy.